CLEARWATER, Fla. (Tribune News Service) — After serving for 26 years in the armed services, Thomas Syer struggled with civilian life.

He had post-traumatic stress disorder and a progressive brain disease from multiple concussions he suffered playing rugby.

The isolation brought by the pandemic proved one burden too many and Syer, 53, took his own life in July 2020.

His widow Michelle Syer, and their 11-year-old twin boy and girl, were left to carry on through what she called the “darkest days of her life.” There was no help from the Veterans Administration, she said, and the internet did not turn up support organizations that could connect her with the families of other veterans who had taken their own lives.

And there seemed to be a stigma around her husband’s death, as if his service to his nation had been diminished.

“There was a glaring gap in support for families who have lost their loved ones to the invisible wounds of war,” she said.

Syer’s experience was the catalyst for the formation of a new Clearwater nonprofit group that aims to build a support network for families like Syer’s and also to help prevent suicides by veterans, active service members and first responders.

The Red Star Foundation will also provide recognition to families affected by veterans suicides through the award of a Red Star banner and pin, modeled on the Gold Star recognition provided to the families of service members killed during active service.

Syer was among the first recipients of a Red Star banner and pin at a ceremony at the Hyatt Regency Clearwater Beach hotel on Friday morning.

Clearwater Mayor Bruce Rector, whose father, David Rector took his own life 35 years ago, was also awarded a banner and pin. His father served in the U.S. Army, as a paramedic and deputy coroner. He also founded the community ambulance service program at the Pendleton Volunteer Fire Department in Indiana.

He said veterans and first responders are exposed and deeply affected by sights “they cannot un-see.”

“I know the trauma that families face that survive folks who take their own lives,” he said. “It’s a scar that never leaves the loved ones.”

More than 6,400 veterans and almost 500 active service members took their own lives in 2022, according to data from the Veterans Administration and the Department of Defense.

Roughly 500 current and former first responders also died by suicide, said Jerry Shaffer, a U.S. Marines veteran and chairman and founder of Red Star Foundation.

The Veterans Administration and other organizations have invested money to try and lower suicide rates but have struggled to move the needle, Shaffer said.

Shaffer’s group wants to support the “forgotten families,” he said. The group’s initiatives include a family network so families can share stories about their experience and support each other. The group will also work to provide awareness of veterans suicides and to connect veterans who have suicidal ideation with the help they need.

The Red Star Banner and pin is intended to honor the sacrifice of the families of veterans and first responders who took their own lives, Shaffer said. Those who receive it are no longer suicide survivors, but Red Star families.

“It is a profound symbol of recognition, connection and remembrance, offering emotional support to grieving families and raising awareness about the ongoing crisis of suicide and service,” he said.

There is some support for veterans with suicidal ideation. A veterans crisis hotline that is staffed 24/7 has handled more than 8.4 million calls since it was launched in 2007. Nonprofits including 22ADay.org work to try and raise awareness of the high level of suicides among veterans.

Locally, the American Legion Post 7 runs Operation Warrior Hope, a program designed to assist veterans during the difficult transition to civilian life.

The Red Star Foundation is also planning to record and post interviews with up to 100 surviving family members speaking about the impact the suicide of a loved one had on their lives. It hopes the videos will be viewed by some who have suicidal ideation and could convince them to seek help rather than hurt their family.

St. Petersburg resident Tanya Mort, who was the third recipient of the Red Star Banner and pin Friday, is among those who have already been interviewed.

Her son, Anthony Muhlstadt, was 23 when he took his own life in 2021. He served as a machine gunner and vehicle commander with the 1st Battalion, 7th Marines while stationed at Twentynine Palms in California. He rose to the rank of sergeant and was deployed three times.

He died of a self-inflicted gun wound. The sad news was delivered to his family by two Marines.

“That hands down was the worse day of my life and it forever changed all of us,” Mort said in the video.

She hopes the video will inspire others to reach out for help.

Need help? If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide or in a mental health crisis, call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline or chat with someone online at 988lifeline.org. The service includes specific help for veterans. You can also dial 211 to reach area nonprofits for information about and referrals to human service organizations.

Families of first responders and veterans who took their own lives can contact the Red Star Foundation at redstarfoundation.org or at (727) 977-6161

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