U.S. Coast Guard Academy cadets aboard the tall ship USCGC Eagle while underway in the Atlantic Ocean, Aug. 4, 2024. (Kate Kilroy/U.S. Coast Guard)
(Tribune News Service) — On a recent Saturday night in Stonington, U.S. Coast Guard Academy Cadet Mary Mergott lounged at a kitchen island counter while Michelle Drake stretched out a rectangle of roasted red pepper pizza dough.
“There’s enough for 25 pizzas here, and I’ll just freeze the leftovers,” Drake said, smiling over at Mergott while occasionally dipping into a toppings bowl full of onions, garlic and sausage. She doesn’t do the cooking.”
Since her freshman year at the military academy, Mergott, a 21-year-old Berlin, Md., native, has spent hundreds of similar relaxing weekends at the Drake home — mostly sleeping, watching television or, on sunny days, hanging out on the couple’s deck — as part of the academy’s Sponsor Family Program.
“I needed (this program),” said Mergott, who, after she graduates next month, will report to the USCGC ALERT in Cape Canaveral, Fla. “I don’t know how I would have made it through my fourth and third years without being able to come here.”
The program connects young cadets with local families who provide a brief civilian respite from the rigors of academy life by opening up their homes on weekends. But academy officials say interest in the program far outstrips its reach.
Tailored to need cadets’ needs
Cadets are encouraged to sign up for the program before the start of the grueling seven-week “Swab Summer” academy initiation phase that kicks off their first year. Like the cadets, prospective sponsors fill out an application with a series of questions aimed at finding the best fit for all parties, said Lara Schrange, who runs the academy’s Cadet Activities Office.
“Maybe a cadet grew up with young brothers and sisters and wants to hang around younger kids,” she said. “Or maybe they have a cat allergy. Our priority is the cadets’ interests.”
Mergott and Drake’s connection began after a chance wedding conversation in Maryland about four years ago. Drake’s sister mentioned her neighbor’s daughter, Mergott, was heading to the academy and asked if Drake would be available as a sort of emergency contact.
“I told her I could do better than that and we reached out to become a sponsor family,” said Drake, who owns the Stonington Designs wood jewelry shop with her husband, Rich Drake. “We picked Mary up right after Swab Summer, and she fell asleep on the drive to our house. I think she slept for 14 hours that first day.”
A cadet’s life is incredibly regimented, Schrange said. Weekdays are taken up with hours of academic classes, military drills and studying. If a cadet signs up for sports or clubs, that means even less free time.
“Their first year, cadets aren’t allowed to leave very often, only on weekends, and they don’t have vehicles, only a shuttle bus,” Schrange said. “If they’re not from the area and don’t know anyone, there’s not a lot for them to do except stay on campus.”
And even on weekends, cadets can’t wear civilian clothes or catch up on sleep.
“There’s no naps and little privacy,” Schrange said. “Going with a sponsor family means laying on a couch in their pajamas, curling up with a pet or getting a home-cooked meal.”
She said the sponsor bond can be so strong that many cadets remain in touch with their “families” decades later. “These are 17- and 18-year-old young adults, some who may have never left home before, and now they’re thrown into a challenging environment that means long days and nights,” Schrange said. “Many of them haven’t yet found their social groups or integrated into the local community.”
“You get as much as you put in”
Academy spokesman David Santos said there’s been an uptick of interest in the sponsor program by cadets in recent years, largely driven by word of mouth.
“We’ve gone from maybe 30% of new cadets wanting to sign up to 80%,” he said. “Last year, when we asked who wanted to sign up, 166 cadets raised their hands. The problem is, we don’t have near enough families to meet that demand.”
New London resident Scott Garbini and his husband joined the program three years ago after overhearing a conversation about the opportunity.
“We did our research and reached out to the academy,” he said. “We filled out an application about our hobbies, type of home and other basic information. We saw this as our way of giving a cadet a chance to step aside from all the craziness.”
Garbini said he and his husband cater to their cadet’s needs.
“Do they want to go out to eat at restaurant or stay in and eat?” he said. “Or maybe they want to go see a movie. Or just want to sit in a spare room all day and sleep.”
Garbini said he views being a sponsor as way to express his thankfulness.
“These cadets are preparing to devote themselves to protecting our country, willing to put their lives at risk,” he said. “Being a sponsor family is a give and take; you get as much as you put in. There’s no defined time commitment, but you know you’re making a difference in that moment for a cadet.”
Emma Jane Andrus, now a 22-year-old academy senior, was a “wide-eyed” Clifton Park, N.Y., teen when she left home nearly four years ago for New London.
“I’m the oldest of three girls, and I was the first one to leave the nest,” she said. “I’d heard about the sponsor family program even before I showed up here and got assigned to a Coast Guard officer who taught here. And the family had three kids — all girls.”
Andrus said she’d head over to her sponsor family’s home about once a month that first year.
“I don’t come from a military family, so it was great talking to him about his career in a relaxed, informal way,” she said. “I go over, stay for dinner and dessert, and they’d send me back with extra food, like brownies. I still text the girls and exchange cards.
While the great majority of cadets, even those without sponsor families, can look forward to a break from academy life by traveling home for holidays and other breaks, international students like 21-year-old Allianne Matthew Dela Vega don’t have even that luxury.
“Going home means traveling for 16 hours,” said Dela Vega, a native of Manila, Philippines. “I have an aunt in New York, but that’s still a three-hour commute, still a lot.”
Dela Vega said he arrived at the academy a week before his peers and was assigned to a local sponsor who instantly put him at ease.
“She’s also from the Philippines, so it was like a home away from home,” he said. “We speak the same language, have the same traditions and like the same food — like barbecue.”
To apply to become a family sponsor go to https://uscga.edu/cadet-life/cadet-resources/sponsor-family-program/
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